Last night, Jenny and I completed our 'Third Trimester' course in preparation for Eli's arrival. The course consisted of six two-hour sessions where we learned everything from contractions to circumcision. I think the point of the course was really to drill into the guy's mind two things: 1) what a miracle life is and 2) how lucky it is to be a guy. I must admit that I do feel more qualified to be a parent now that I am in possession of a 'Third Trimester Graduation Certificate.' The most informative part was learning how to recognize when baby is in danger. For example, if baby's lips become blue, it is not a good sign and we should immediately call 911. The same is true if baby doesn't have a heart rate. Or if he carves out Newton's laws of motion into his crib.
Our imminent task is to prepare our hospital bags so that we can leave on the fly when Eli decides on a change of scenery. Actually my bag is ready. The hospital has HDTVs so all I need is the Playstation and I am set for weeks.
Jenny and I have been thinking about how to decorate Eli's room. In light of recent events, I will now proceed to tear down the Tiger Woods wallpaper. It's okay, though. Eli will be the first kid ever to have a Bobby Flay wallpaper. Forget cartoons. Food network 4 life.
Paula Deen 4lyf3!
ReplyDeleteHere's what you need for your hospital bag: ice chips (which will melt and look like pee), lollipops (that your son cannot have until he's 21), and stereo systems (to drive the nurses nuts). I don't know why, but I think it will help with the delivery. Right, Jenny?